Dating complaints....

Ok, I have a bit of a complaint. I would really like to know where this absurd need to protect someones feelings came from. So I've been talking to someone(a female of the species) for a period of a couple of weeks, being under the impression that we might meet at some point after coming into contact with each other on a dating website. (yeah, I know...shut it) Finally today she mentions that she thinks that she isn't my type......ok, so I'm seeing this as her way of telling me that she's not interested and just doesn't want to hurt my feelings. I confront her on it, and she says that she doesn't know if she's interested in me or not, but is trying to build a friendship. Ok, a couple of things here.....one it's nice ,as a guy, to know where things are going. I'm fine with being a friend but I'd like to know that that is where we're headed, rather than being called pushy for offering to meet her sometime in person. I'd love to have more friends...but I really want to know whether I'm meeting friends or meeting women....it's a dating site for god's sake. Is it really so difficult for women to just let a guy know where he stands without being a bitch about it or avoiding it till it's an issue? It seems wonderfully passive aggressive to tell the guy that he's being pushy or clingy or whatever when he's not let in on the whole friend/date discussion. Just seems massively dishonest.

Now, that being said.....I'm certainly not making guys out to be innocents by any stretch. There are guys out there that make me sad that I share a gender with them, the ones that are so pathetically socially inept to the point of disability, the arrogant ones that think that every woman out in the world wants to go to bed with them, and the ones that just make every other guy in the world look like an ass by association, and then....there's the other group of guys that are social, and capable and while interested in women, aren't going to lie cheat and steal to get in a woman's pants. I just want to know, why is it that women all seem to think that all guys are the worst ones....? ok, fairly short rant this time I guess. Till next time.

Grab bag of thoughts....

Ok, well first off I haven't made a post in a while. Partly because I'm lazy about this...but trying to get better. Let's see, since my last post I found out that I'm getting divorced, have moved into a new apartment and am trying to "find myself" as cliche as that sounds. Throughout this process I've come across a few things that I thought I would share. Society seems over the years come to the conclusion that in a divorce situation that the husband is always at fault. No, this is not from direct experience (that I know of) but from the heightened attention to situations involving divorce in popular media and the news. Secondly that people are so "weirded out" by the situation that they inadvertently become polarized in the situation by talking to the side (husband or wife) that they are closest to. There seems to be a distinct lack of interest (or initiative perhaps) to talk to both sides and make a decision based on both viewpoints. As a result most people just offer condolences to one or the other and then avoid the subject (presumably because it's better for the divorcing couple....but more than likely because it's still a bit of a taboo topic and as such has the resulting social stigma attached to it) and additionally due to this avoidance of the topic, they suddenly can't find much to talk to the person about. It would seem that after the decades since divorce became an acceptable option (much to chagrin of the religious community) that people could be more adult about it. But I digress.

Lets see....other things to think about....I know I have a tendency to talk about people's driving and what they do that irritates me, but it's still a salient topic of conversation....and if you don't agree....well you don't have to read my irritable ramblings. Or maybe you do. But it amazes me that the belief that driving is a right has so completely saturated our society. That people don't think anything of passing the written and driving portions of the licensing test and then forget everything they learned (or memorized) to pass it. That they operate what ostensibly amounts to the most deadly single item in the American household with such complete disregard for the safety or welfare of anyone else on the road, so long as they get where they want to go. Now I'm not only talking about people talking on the phone, texting, playing with their radio, reading, applying makeup, eating, petting their dog (which is on their lap), yelling at or disciplining their kids in the back seat or any of the other more egregious distracting behavior I've witnessed on the road....but just the lack of attention to fundamentals of driving. Things like staying in your lane, or looking in your mirrors or (god forbid) turning your head to check your blind spot before changing lanes, failing to use an indicator before changing lane, learning at least a vague level of accuracy at judging relative speed of vehicles approaching before turning or merging into another lane. I just feel like I want to remind people that driving is not a right, it is a privilege to be earned and continually maintained. I am not saying that I drive perfectly by the letter of the law, but I am continually aware of other cars, watching what they doing, and trying to anticipate their next move. I do drive aggressively however this is not to be confused with belligerently....they are significantly different. Further the speed limits are not something I adhere to particularly, but I do use my indicators with ever turn or lane change...including in parking lots.

Now on to another thought...it irritates me that our uniformed police officers of whatever particular department seem to have more interest in speeding violations than taking interest in things that actually cause accidents. This honestly comes down from the top, however they seem to focus more on speeding violations as they generate revenue for the municipality. This practice has been used for so long that people are terrified of a police car and will actually refuse to pass them on a road, regardless of the fact of a police car going under the speed limit. Further people become more distracted by whether they'll be pulled over for something, that they fail to pay attention to anything else around them, making the police car a hazard to traffic. I won't even get into the issue of speed traps..... Now, as a caveat or disclaimer....I'm not saying that all police are officious jackasses....in fact I know or have known a large number of law enforcement officers that were outstanding and do not reflect this behavior. I don't want someone making me out to be someone that hates cops....far from it.

Anyway I guess that's enough of my bitching for one day. I'm going to try to be more prolific in my postings....who knows...maybe I'll start saying more interesting things that aren't all rants about things that piss me off....but probably not.

Muffling ignorance

Ok, I am getting sooo tired and irritated at commercials and other government/corporate media plans to "inform" people about things. The one that sparks this particular rant is from a series of commercials. Ok, it goes over the fairly standard things like "change your air filter, and make sure your tires are inflated properly", ok...true tire inflation does help...but it's only really detrimental to mileage or emissions when they're heavily under inflated. Air filter...yes they can make a difference but usually has more to do with the standard laziness of most of us that leave the same air filter in for a looong time, that said...yes it will make your car a little more efficient. Now the thing that really irritates me is the continual disinformation that is disseminated by inferrence. They show 'muffler man' patting his muffler on the car and saying "hang in there buddy" which basically implies that the muffler has something to do with emissions. Sorry....it doesn't. Period. Mufflers do just that....they muffle the sound of the engine exhaust. That's it. If your car's muffler fell off, it won't make it any worse in the sense of preventing pollution...it would however make it louder. I just always get irritated at this mentality that has been continually advanced. The average person doesn't have much knowledge of the workings of their car, and additionally, most don't want any knowledge of it. It would be one more thing to distract them from concentrating on important things like putting on their make up in the rear view mirror while driving and other fantastically important endeavors....but I digress. Just remember, your muffler doesn't change how much pollution your car produces...only the sound.

I'll leave you with this.....just because the government tells you something, doesn't mean it's always true...think for yourself, do your own research and make your own decisions. Have a better tomorrow.

rambling thought....

I read a story today on Facebook....it was an NPR blurb about a black professor from Harvard being arrested in his own home. Apparently there was a call of two black men with backpacks breaking into a house...or some such. When the police arrived the professor was home. He refused to speak to the police officers. Eventually he was arrested. Now....my thoughts are not necessarily about this particular incident....but rather the commentary about it. It doesn't matter nearly as much who was right or wrong but it highlights two interesting things in this country. One that the police (not to generalize) have a tendency to want to intimidate people and expect the deferential submission of citizen, rather than respect of their authority. Two....that people of any ethnicity faced with police involvement will see profiling and harassment. Now, to address both of those issues, I don't think that every cop out there is on a power trip, but the ones that are honestly doing their jobs and genuinely want to look out for people seem to be disappearing in favor of officious and priggish types that will enforce laws with little discretion for the situation. On the other side of it, I'm not saying that there is no profiling or racial harassment, but I think that there are a lot more situations where the race card is thrown down when it wasn't an issue....by all ethnicities. Now I've seen situations of racism, prejudice and harassment....as well as reverse racism, prejudice and harassment. Whites are the ones that always assumed to be the perpetrators of profiling or harassment or racism but it does happen the other way around....I just think that we're all too concerned with everything and should relax. But maybe I'm totally wrong....but that's what I think at the moment.

What happens to washed up stars?

You know....I found myself flipping through channels last night....not that I have many (got rid of cable...) but I found myself looking at channel 54....here that's UPN or whatever it is now. Well, I found a show that seemingly was based around internet videos...kind of like America's Funniest Home Movies or whatever but most of them seemed pretty dated. The thing that I found surprising was that it was hosted by Arsenio Hall. I came to an odd line of thought after noticing that....is that what happens to stars that fall out of popularity? They jump at the chance to host any show they can, just so they can stay in the public eye? It's frankly pretty pathetic. He wasn't even funny, it was all so sad.